As a teenager I saw some video of people climbing a peak in the Himalayas, and I was completely awed by what they were doing.  It felt as distant to me, as seeing footage of the landing on the moon.

I used to always tramp in NZ, and I started rock climbing when I moved to the US in my early 20s, but it wasn’t until a friend told me about his trek to base camp that I realised such a thing was even possible.  I immediately joined a guided trek, and found myself at Everest base camp in September 2006.  There I had the opportunity to mingle with climbers, and the dream was started.

Over the next few years I found higher and higher treks to complete.  I hiked the Inca trail and climbed Kilimanjaro.  After Kili I was truly hooked and wanted more.  I moved to Ireland and decided to try the highest peak in Europe – Mt Elbrus.  This experience was both awe inspiring and terrifying.  We climbed in a blizzard, with the lack of visibility and surrounding lightning strikes quite concerning.

I was one of the few that made the summit, but decided it was time to learn some skills to keep me alive.  I booked into the next Technical Mountaineering Course I could find.  It was with Alpine Guides on Mt Cook.  There I learnt good crampon technique, crevasse travel and rescue, snow anchor building, and the basics of ice climbing.

From there it was on to the next mountain.  At this point I had read a lot about the seven summits – the highest peak on each continent.  This then became my goal, and having already completed Elbrus and Kilimanjaro I only had five to go.

In 2011 I tried Aconcagua, only to be turned around in a storm.  Then came Denali in 2011, followed by a second (successful) attempt on Aconcagua in 2012.

This had me at four of the seven summits.  Number five would be Kosciuszko in Australia, and as that was easy and cheap, it would be left till last.  Which left Mt Everest and Vinson Massif.  The latter – in Antarctica – is about the most expensive alpine expedition in the world, and the former, Mt Everest, costs almost the same, takes two months, and takes the lives of several climbers every year.

So it was a big decision to try to finish what I had started.  In 2013 I committed, and took a year off work to train.  I climbed Mt Cook in NZ, then a series of mountains in Nepal topped off with Cho Oyu in Tibet, my first 8000er.  This was the practice run for Everest.  Oxygen from 7,500m.  Full down suit.  The same training peak that Sir Edmund Hillary and his team tested their gear on.

In Dec 2013 I headed to Antarctica and climbed Mt Vinson.  Then I cross trained for three months before heading to Mt Everest at the end of March.  I was the fittest I had ever been, and was confident of my success.  But it wasn’t to be.  We were overtaken by an avalanche while climbing in the Khumbu ice fall, and while we just got blasted with snow, there were sixteen people above us that lost their lives.

In a horrible twist of fate all 16 killed were Sherpa.  This led to a great deal of hostility towards the Western climbers, and became the catalyst for a labour strike.  The Sherpa refused to continue work on the mountain until the government met a list of their demands.  At the heart of the requests was an increase in insurance cover.

The government refused.  And we had a week sitting on the mountain not knowing if we were climbing or going home, all the while feeling that we were less and less welcome.  In the end the government closed the mountain, and everyone was sent home.

So I tried again the next year.  This time Nepal was hit by a massive earthquake, and climbers were not to be spared.  It triggered another huge avalanche that ripped through base camp and destroyed the route through the ice fall.  17 deaths on Everest, and over 8000 throughout Nepal.  Again I was lucky – the tent I took shelter in was still standing afterwards.  Not so with many others.

I still want to go back – I still want to stand on top and see what Hillary and Tenzing saw.  To battle the extreme altitude and cold and to know the answer to the question – could I do it?  To spend time in wild places, and to have better stories to tell my son… and to finish what I started.

Six out of Seven aint bad (I did kosci in winter in 2014) – but it makes for a terrible story.

But the time away from family is a lot to ask, and the money that was allocated to climbing is now allocated to a mortgage.  Real life settles in, and dreams fade away.  So for now, I just look at the photos I have taken, and follow other people’s alpine adventures.  Until Sam is big enough to join me, then maybe one more try…